Couples that want to go for marriage counselling or to a therapist to save their relationship may naturally have doubts whether it would work or not. Even if they get the convincing answer, the result would be depending upon their efforts for saving it.
So before going to any counsellor, they need to understand one fact that whether that marriage can be saved or not depends upon multiple aspects that both the individuals bring to the counsellor.
If both the individuals have acceptance of what it takes, only then a positive result can be expected.
Although few couples may find it hard to accept what it takes. And what makes marriage difficult to heal is the delay most couple makes in going for counselling. Most of the couple go for counselling when severe damages have already been done to their marriage.
People keep quiet on their mental state generally for a long time not saying anything to their spouse until the fateful day comes. Most of the couples talk about their issues seriously only after many major episodes have happened and then make the first appointment for marriage counselling.
Specifically, in a marriage, it does not work only through improving communication or by asking them to have more date nights. As at times one or both of the persons may not want to be nice to each other that make it harder to handle for a Therapist. And only an experienced and highly skilled therapist can help so that the couple does not make it a bigger mess.
So, in counselling, a therapist’s first aim is to calm down the situation and making sure that no major decisions are made, at least till the couple calm down and are wise enough to make one. In the process of calming down the situation, couples are assessed from mental and physical health to their values, beliefs, morals and family history.
Many therapists understand it easily in the first few hours of a session that what would it take to save the marriage. However, marriage counseling is not that easy. It needs lots of hard work, will power and determination to take one for the team.
Lots of therapists find it very challenging and agree that very few of their clients believe in going to a therapist for a positive outcome. So not only a therapist but the couple also has to have faith in counselling and that it would be able to find out what they need to save their marriage.
Couples struggling in their marital life should find relationship counselling or therapy that offers a space where healing, integration and holistic growth can take place for the broken relationship.